Good Question: Is It Bad to Spend a Lot of Time Alone? #

The underground bunker was filled with chips and candy.

Humans are social animals. Our well-being depends on the company of others.

The research linking loneliness to depression, cardiovascular disease, and other health problems is so conclusive that doctors now mention social isolation in the same breath as smoking and a sedentary lifestyle when discussing major public health risks. As the song says, everybody needs somebody sometimes.

But just as not all who wander are lost, not all who spend time alone are lonely.

Time spent alone can enhance creativity and support metacognition, which is a greater awareness of one’s own thought processes.

While the work on social isolation has tended to attract most of the research dollars and media attention — and that’s been doubly true since pandemic lockdowns forced many of us apart — there’s a smaller but nonetheless significant body of work showing that, far from being a problem, spending time on your own is both fruitful and healthy.

“Researchers have tended to pay more attention to the maladaptive side of solitude — that wanting to be alone is symptomatic of depression or social withdrawal or something unfavorable,” says Thuy-vy Nguyen, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Durham in the U.K. “But when you ask people, many report that time spent alone is something they really enjoy.”

Nguyen’s specialty is solitude; she’s published more than a dozen papers on the topic. “Broadly speaking, solitude means time spent alone and not interacting with other people, either in person or remotely,” she says.

For example, you could be in a crowded café, but if you’re sitting alone reading a book, that meets psychology’s definition of solitude. On the other hand, if you’re alone at home but texting friends or interacting on social media, that’s not solitude.

‘Unstructured solitude can help calm stress and emotional arousal.’

A lot of Nguyen’s work has focused on what is termed “unstructured solitude.” This is alone time that does not involve doing chores, running errands, listening to podcasts, or other distractions. While not everyone is comfortable doing nothing, she says those who are tend to value these moments and glean a lot from them.

“One of the benefits we’ve found is that unstructured solitude can help calm stress and emotional arousal,” she says. Whether what you’re feeling is pleasant or unpleasant, she says that undistracted alone time tends to turn down the volume of what you’re feeling.

Some of her research has shown that just 15 minutes of solitary time induces this “emotion regulation” effect. This may be especially useful when you’re getting ready for bed, making an important decision, or doing something else where high emotion can be counterproductive.

“People also see solitude as an opportunity for rest and relaxation, or they talk about the experience of recharging,” Nguyen says. Again, her research supports this.

Most of us can probably recall a trip with friends or a holiday at home where, despite everything being great, we’ve felt the need to step away and be by ourselves from time to time. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, Nguyen says.

Other people can be a bit much sometimes. There are moments when all of us feel squashed under the weight of their attention and opinions, and some of us can put up with less of that than others.

There’s a lot more work on the benefits of solitude.

Research has found time spent alone can enhance creativity and support “metacognition,” which is a greater awareness of one’s own thought processes. Put another way, spending time alone can be a great way to get to know yourself better.

Many of history’s greatest minds — artists, mathematicians, inventors, leaders — have relied on periods of undistracted solitude to cultivate their big ideas.

Time spent alone also fosters independent thinking.

When you’re around other people — either in real life or online — it can be difficult to escape the gravity of their viewpoints. Many of history’s greatest minds — artists, mathematicians, inventors, leaders — have relied on periods of undistracted solitude to cultivate their ideas. There’s also evidence that undistracted alone time supports the brain’s executive functions, which help us sort and make sense of information.

Far from being a problem, spending time alone seems to be healthy — and maybe even essential.

All that said, the cliché of the troubled loner isn’t groundless. Especially during youth and adolescence, there’s good evidence that kids who prefer to spend most or all of their time alone are likelier to develop anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges. And, at any age, if your time alone is characterized by self-criticisms or other negative ruminations — repeating thoughts that cause you anxiety or distress — that’s not a good thing, Nguyen says.

But even during adolescence, researchers have found that a generous dose of solitude — which some work has pegged at 30% of a young person’s wake time — is associated with healthy “psychological adjustment.” In fact, researchers have found that kids who can’t stand to be on their own are, like their reclusive counterparts, also at risk for psychological problems.

Any close examination of solitude and social interaction reveals a messy picture. But one thing seems clear: most people need both.

We all used to get them without having to try. But thanks to the rise of social media, remote work, home delivery, and other tech-aided changes to the way we live and interact, balancing time alone and time in other people’s company now requires more effort.

“I think unstructured alone time is something a lot of people find uncomfortable because they’re not used to it,” Nguyen says. It may take practice for you to spend time alone with your thoughts without feeling bored, or even distressed. But she says that, based on her own research, she’s made an effort to work periods of unstructured solitude into her routine.

“I have tried to take brief periods during my day for short walks,” she says. “I try to remember to step away from social interactions to have a few minutes for myself.”

“To me,” she adds, “embracing solitude is about starting small, and building up that capacity over time.”

Far from being a problem, the ability to spend time alone may be an essential life skill that more of us would do well to cultivate.